poems by me

reoccurring

2011-01-13T22:26:00.000-08:00

middle of the night
again waking up alone
wishing you to be
lying beside and holding close

every night
thesame old thing
i wake up
to a nightmare from a dream

i wish you were here
when i sleep i wish it rue
but then i wake to see
i'm still here, in solitude- without you

no effort needed it seems

2011-01-11T14:15:00.000-08:00

its so easy what you do to me
you turn me on effortlessly
my insides flare up like a fire
send my sould up even higher
no one moves me like you do
it seems to me
you can plainly see
that honey i'm stuck on you

your eyes hold my gaze
and draw me even nearer
those arms they hold me close
and let me know
i've got nothing to fear

a calm falls over me
laying here on your chest
listening intently to your heartbeat
silence falls to all the rest

you have a way with me
something still to me unknown
regardless of how much i know
in me it contuinues to grow
somewhat stronger everyday
fed by your words, your kiss, embrace
your building a room inside of me
thats only just your space

i'm falling plain to see
anyone can see its true
and i hope the falling never stops
as long as the falling is with you

great pretender

2011-01-11T14:11:00.000-08:00

i smile while i'm dying
and laugh while inside i cry
so no one sees how hurt i am
i hide my pain and lie

i say that i'm not angry
for all you put me through
i think i'm strong- strong enough to hold on
to this bind that holds my heart to you

you've crushed down my spirit
and broke my heart in two
my soul is bandage covered
my mind severely bruised

its sick i know, but for now
i'll still be standing here
to make you happy by faking mine
and be your great pretender dear

Someday

2011-01-11T14:03:00.000-08:00

Loving you from a distance
Keeping all of it inside
Emotions remain bottled up
All of it needs to hide

Buried under layers
That cannot be brought above
Must be kept below the surface
No one can know its love

The secret eats at all of me
Festering 'round my heart
The only ones that i may tell
Are the the distant nightime stars

Dreaming of the day the rooftops can be my stage
And the world can hear my cries
When holding hands and soft kisses fall
In front of everybody's eyes

i'll drink to this

2009-10-14T09:30:00.000-07:00

give me a long tall glass of yesterday
with a fresh squeeze of what used to be
rim the glass with memory
and let me drink it down
like a sweet summer tea

throw in some ice
one cube for every year
to make it ice cold
like a favorite beer

at last garnish it
with a kiss
a toast to an old romance
cheers, i'll drink to this

texas night train

2009-10-14T09:23:00.000-07:00

your whistle blows out to me
echoing so hauntingly
solitary travels on a single path you roam
where your engine rests
is your temporary home

texas night train
i can hear you, hear you calling
at times i swear
i can hear my name
callin to me for some company
hear it blow my texas night train

such a burden that you carry
all that weight from town to town
not lookin back once
never backin down

as tough however you appear
your cry blows your disguise
for your whistle is loud and lonely
enough to pierce the midnight skies

untitled

2009-10-14T09:13:00.000-07:00

its so late
so late there is no time
so late even the stars have no light left to shine
my company's and empty glass
and an empty bottle of wine

a quiet dark surrounds me
like covers i can't kick off
my only beacon, like a lighthouse on the sea
is the bluescreen on my TV

no pictures on it, no changing scene
no sound, no song
it sits alone as i am

its quite fitting its color- blue
no other color stands for somber like it does

i think its missing its news and music videos
those things bring it to life, give it meaning
as you do to me
i miss you

i could turn it off and put
the blue screen out of its sadness
but then share my solitude with who
so me and the blue screen will stare some more
maybe i'll fall to sleepon your pillow

be my light

2009-10-14T09:01:00.000-07:00

can you help me find my way out
can you be the candlelight in my hand?
restless i am for crawling out of this cave
to see the dawn again

its dark in here, can you see me
can you hear me breathe?
each heavier than the next
like each stone of the wall
i've built around me

i left an opening so small
i'm not sure you can get to me
please don't stop trying
if you do i fear
i will spend my forever here

the damp cold on my skin sits as heavy
as heavy as my heart inside
reach for me and touch my hand
warm me with your light

as much as i laughed and teased
about your stubborn soul
use it as your hammer please
to chip away, chip away, chip away my walls

i pray that piece by piece
the rocks will fall
and your light will flood in and onto me

like warm water
it soothes my ragged body, heart, and mind

and washes the tears and dirt
from my eyes

don't fall away from me
let your fire be my guide
help me out of here
and be my candlelight

with or without you

2009-10-14T08:53:00.000-07:00

too many times
too many times trying
to be what you want
to be what you're needing

what does it take,
what's to become of me?
am i losing myself
trying to be what you want to see

i've torn myself down
and rebuilt to make you happy
but in this process
losing what i am
in this i've misplaced me

how does it feel to break one down
do you like what i've become
are you smiling about this
is this what you wanted done?

i need to find me
pick up the parts i left behind
pull myself back together
and make who i am mine

i've bent and bent
to the point of breaking
i'm not for it anymore
my life is becoming mine for the taking

if it means our ways must part
and the end of us must be
then to you now i say goodbye
for this is something i must do
whether it be with or without you

another in my place

2009-10-14T08:48:00.000-07:00

the church bell chiming
on a sunny spring day
the rings were all shined
vows were ready to say
the guests were all in
not an empty seat in sight
picture perfect you'd think
but something wasn't right
he was saying i do
but it wasn't to me
he would promise to love
for an eternity
he'd swear that his kiss
would be for just one
that the life he had missed
had finally begun
and in front of a crowd
all this he would swear
to some other woman
for i wasn't there

home again

2009-10-14T08:29:00.000-07:00

duty calls to a soldier
the telephone rings
they say son its time
pack up your things
as he kisses his wife
he wipes tears from her eyes
he says "i'll be home again,
this isn't goodbye"

she kissed her momma and daddy
pulled away from the farm
mama looked up and prayed
keep her from harm
protect my baby
as long as she's gone
til she can come back home again

home again, home again
til they all can come home
when lovers and friends
can hold more than a phone
in bed we'll all lie awake
waitin for the day
til they all can come home again

he's got two babies back home
he misses so much
he's got baseball to play
and their faces to touch
theres so many things that he's gonna miss
til he makes it back home again

home again, home again
til they all can come home
when lovers and friends
can hold more than a phone
in bed we'll all lie awake
waitin for the day
when they all can come home again
please let them come back home again
til that day they are all home again